


Boosh Block Tango

by vincen0ir



Category: The Mighty Boosh
Genre: you motherfuckers are like a gay zoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 20:00:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1197633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vincen0ir/pseuds/vincen0ir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I told Kayla that I'd write this for her. Basically, an insane mix of Chicago and the Boosh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boosh Block Tango

(The Crack Fox, Rudi, Eleanor, Old Gregg, The Hitcher, The Spirit of Jazz)

And now the six merry murderers of the Camden County Jail  
In their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'

Run! Six! Shock! Uh uh, London, Jefferson!  
Run! Six! Shock! Uh uh, London, Jefferson!  
Run! Six! Shock! Uh uh, London, Jefferson!

He had it coming, he had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same

Run! Six! Shock! Uh uh, London, Jefferson!

(The Crack Fox)  
You know how people have these little habits  
That get you down? Like Vince!  
Vince liked to run away from me. No, not run, hide!

Well, I come home this one day  
And I'm really irritated  
and looking for a little sympathy,  
and there's Vince,  
Standin' at the door, turning round and runnin'..  
No, not runnin', hidin'!  
So, I said to him, I said,  
"You hide from me one more time.."  
And he did...  
So I took my syringes off the wall  
And I poked him hard, two times..  
In his veins.

He had it coming, he had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it  
I betcha you would have done the same

(Rudi)  
I met Spider Dijon in a seedy little bar about two years ago  
And he told me he was into music, we hit it off right away  
So, we started a band together.  
We'd write lyrics, we'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner.  
Then I found out, wasn't in a band he told me  
Not in a band, my door!  
Not only was he in a band, oh no, he was in six!  
One of those polyamorous blokes, you know

So that night, when he came home from recording  
I fixed him his drink, as usual  
You know, some guys just can't hold their bleach...

He had it coming, he had it coming  
He took a flower in its prime  
And then he used it and he abused it  
It was a murder but not a crime

(Spirit of Jazz)  
Now, I'm workin' his fingers,  
Makin' his music sweet,  
Minding my own business,  
And he starts yellin' in a mighty fury!  
"Get outta my body!" he says,  
He was crazy and he kept on screaming  
"Get outta my body!!"  
Then I shocked him real good,  
I shocked him ten times.

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same

(Eleanor)  
Now, they say I scared poor Howard,  
They say I frightened that precious little angel!  
All I wanted was for him to love me, to make me feel like a better woman,  
And when he didn't,  
They say I hacked his heart out!

But yeah, did you do it?  
Uh uh, not guilty

(The Hitcher)  
My little assistant Howard and I went round, findin' animals for my zoo.  
And Howard's ugly girlfriend traveled around with us  
Whenever we found our last one  
We made 'em breed, get more for the zoo.  
One two three four five, all night long!  
All the animals did it, one after the other.  
Well, this one night before we hit the hay,  
We were down at the hotel in London  
The three of us, boozin' and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice  
So I went out to get some  
I come back, open the van,  
There's Howard and his ugly girlfriend,  
Doing it like the animals do!

Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out  
I can't remember a thing, it wasn't until later  
When I was washing the blood off my thumb,  
That I even knew they were dead!

They had it coming, they had it coming  
They had it coming all along  
I didn't do it, but if I done it  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

They had it coming, they had it coming  
They had it coming all along  
I didn't do it, but if I done it  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

(Old Gregg)  
I loved Howard Moon more than he could ever know,   
He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a jazz maverick...  
But he was always trying to find himself  
He go out every night looking for himself  
And on the way, he found Vince, Pencil Case Girl, Neon, Ultra, Anthrax, Ebola...  
I guess you can say we broke up because of ... artistic differences  
He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead.  
Curly Jefferson was just the same.

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it comin', they had it comin'  
They had it comin' all along  
'Cause if they used us and they abused us  
How could they tell us that we were wrong?

He had it coming, he had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same

You hide from me one more time!  
Not in a band, my door!  
Ten times!

Scared that poor little angel,  
Number seventeen, the spread eagle  
Just like Curly Jefferson..  
I betcha you would have done the same.

Run! Six! Shock! Uh uh, London, Jefferson!


End file.
